Creating a Culture of Self-Care and Vulnerability During Your “Soft Girl” Era

Mar 10, 2023

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I'm Kelley — licensed therapist, burnout expert, and host of the Black Girl Burnout podcast. I encourage black women to opt out of struggle and opt into our legacy of joy and accomplishment. Join me!

Meet Kelley

Medium complexion woman of color in a white robe and white towel wrapped around her head, reflected in a mirror as she opens a container of moisturizer

As black women, it’s important to prioritize our own well-being to prevent burnout and reject the myth of the “strong black woman.” Here are some ways to prioritize softness and self-care.

1. Rest

Take time to rest and recharge. Rest is essential for mental health and well-being.

2. Set boundaries

Say “no” to additional responsibilities, delegate tasks, or take a break from social media to protect your time and energy.

3. Ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help with childcare, household chores, or emotional support.

4. Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and love, and don’t beat yourself up for mistakes.

5. Embrace vulnerability

Build strong connections and relationships with others by opening up to trusted friends or a therapist.

6. Find joy

Make time for things that bring you joy, whether that’s reading a book, practicing a hobby, or spending time with loved ones.

7. Reject the myth of the “strong black woman”

Recognize that it’s okay to have difficult emotions and that you don’t have to be strong all the time.


Prioritizing softness in our lives can prevent burnout and promote self-care. Take care of yourself and embrace your full range of emotions and needs.

It’s important to remember that prioritizing softness and self-care doesn’t mean you’re weak or unproductive. In fact, taking care of yourself can actually increase your productivity and creativity.

By prioritizing your own well-being, you’re setting an example for others and promoting a culture of self-care and respect. It’s also important to seek out and create safe spaces where you can connect with other black women who are also prioritizing their self-care.

Remember, self-care is a lifelong journey, and it takes time to establish healthy habits. Be patient with yourself and don’t hesitate to seek support when you need it.


Are you a black woman who has been feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, and confined to the struggle? If so, the Black Girl Burnout podcast is here for you. Journey along with host Kelley Bonner as she interviews guests and shares personal anecdotes about productive ways to opt-out of struggle and opt into happiness,  while navigating the unique challenges and joys of being a black woman in today’s world. From work and relationships to self-care and mental health, this podcast is a safe space to explore and find support along the journey towards your goals. Join our community and start feeling more connected and less burnt out.

Join The Black Girl Burnout Community Today!! 👈